Affairs on Saturday

I was approximately 10 when I started to go to the dentist for braces. Dr. Fixit was a handsome young dentist who was doing “trial” braces for specially chosen children at a cut rate. Momma and Daddy felt I could benefit from having my teeth straightened, and having met Dr. Fixit, they signed me up for the treatment. Momma went along the first visits, but then I was going every week, and she needed time to shop and even go have a coke with a friend. I felt pretty grown up and proud of my independence.

On this particular Saturday afternoon, I marched down Main Street to the door to the staircase to Dr. Fixit’s office. The door was heavy, and inside were 27 steps up to a dimly lit hall, on which there were 3 doors with etched windows.

None of these doors was marked...but only one was lit from inside. This was the Fixit office.

Just as I entered the door, the only light in the stairway went off leaving me in complete (nearly complete) darkness. Immediately I was frightened, and thought to go right back out on the street. But Scottons were prompt. We did not shy away from appointments that I knew about, and Dr., and his nurse Zelda, expected me. They were busy people. One did not keep them waiting. But WAIT! Someone was up there. I could hear two people whispering. Then they laughed aloud, so it couldn’t be awfully scary. I wondered if I yelled “BOO” if it would be funny. But I was still pretty scared, even though the people were laughing outright, and making smacking noises. Bubble gum? Then the lady’s voice squealed and the man’s voice said, “I ought to give you a good spanking for that!” And there was rustling and more giggling. Then she said something about, “you big brute!” In the next moment they were moaning and gasping, like they might be choking or something. I had just seen in Readers Digest how to help people in that kind of distress, and would have run to be a hero, except it was too dark to see the stairs well enough. And the light in the hall came on, and I heard not one more thing from the two people. Nothing at all, though I stayed quiet as a mouse for a very long time, and needed to use the bathroom real bad. When I stepped back and looked, the light in Dr. Fixit’s office was on again, so perhaps the people had gone in there, or knew of another way out? I went up there and Zelda met me at the door applying a coat of lipstick and smoothing her hair. At last I could relax in the good hands of Dr. and Zelda. My relief was profound.

I closed my eyes as my braces were tightened to headache level, and only opened them when I was commanded to rinse and spit. Zelda had just brought some tool to the tray and she wriggled her plump bottom up onto the high stool she sat on to assist the Dr. He calmly reached across the tray and pinched her breast. I thought to myself that these people must be good friends, I wondered if I should smile to acknowledge that I liked the game they were playing, but his hands were back in my mouth so I didn’t “let on.”

At Thanksgiving that year, my Aunt asked how my brace work was going.

She wanted to see what progress had been made and was I finally getting better looking? We were in Grandma’s kitchen doing dishes, and I showed my teeth proudly and said I was done, and the braces would come off the next week. I also said Dr. and Zelda were so darn funny!

Aunt stopped washing for a second and looked at me and said, “Funny? How so?” “Oh, how they play around and laugh and stuff. One time he pinched her right on the breast!”

Momma stopped drying dishes and looked closely at me. “I wouldn’t say things like that, Con! We don’t tell things that aren’t true. That surely isn’t!” I was hurt, but I kinda wondered if I had imagined it myself. So, I did not go on with the story. And I’d forgotten it altogether by Christmas and the next family gathering. I always liked to stay with the ladies where the talk was. Sometimes there were things I could share with my sister, or with Joyce who could make mountains outta mole hills any day of the week.

Aunt thought I was reading my new Christmas book when she said to my Momma, “Jean, I guess ole Connie was right about the dentist. He and Zelda ran off to Des Moines last week. His wife is divorcing him and I haven’t heard about Oscar, Zelda’s husband. Yup! The office is closed and he has left town for good. I hear they had been playing footsie under the dentist chair for a year, and it was a flaming affair that people around town didn’t know about! Give ole Con some credit!”

I felt exonerated, but couldn’t brag as eavesdropping was a sin as well.

And I couldn’t figure out how you could play footsie under the dental chair, nor what an affair was. Grandma spoke of affairs at the church basement where ladies met and served fancy refreshments and coffee. I don’t think those affairs flamed, and I did not see flames or refreshments at Dr. Fixit’s office. I was no longer a liar. My teeth were fixed. The bill was paid. I wondered about Doc and Zelda sometimes, but they were gone.

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